I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
