Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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