i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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