he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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