Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
