im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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