I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
