'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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