Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
