I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
