i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
