If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I need a burrito and a hug.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
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