You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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