I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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