I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
