whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
