Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
