If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
