I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
