Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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