We're facebook friends in real life
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
