I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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