1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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