I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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