I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
