It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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