just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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