Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
