Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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