News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
