well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize