Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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