tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
