Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
