I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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