Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
