WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
cat food counts as protein by the way
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
