So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
