Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
