And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
