I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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