Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
