it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
