what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
