her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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