it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
