can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
