How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
