You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
