Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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