Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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