If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
