I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
