This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
