I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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