I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
