I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
