you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize