TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
