Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
