: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
